COULD IT BE ANY HARDER?

a text message from ABBY C.

22-03-06 11:04:43 pm

9 hardest times of your life

1. being questioned when you yourself dont understand
2. pretending to be innocent of what you know about
3. trying to forget something you know you never will
4. admitting you were wrong after you have been so insistent that you were right
5. debating with yourself
6. accepting the fact that some things are not meant to be
7. trying to understand when you just cant
8. realizing that you have been tricked after you have given your whole trust
9. parting and letting go of someone you have loved all your life

_____________

nice noh? and to make things harder, i'l add something..

the 10th hardest time of life...

..when everything seems clear

yet you pretend not to see coz you've been blinded,

but still you're happy..

~~~~and hirap nun noh? hehe.. ang drama ko noh? pasensya..

Last day na lang BINGO ka pa!

Once is enough, twice is too much, thrice is stupidity!

Strike 1, 2, 3 to positive infinity… what more could I ask for?!

Shet, as in malaking SHEEEEEEEET!

Haay..

Wrong decision..

Wrong type of words..

Wrong timing..

Wrong counter-argument..

Everything was wrong..

Pucha!

Kung kelan mo least expected, dun pa mangyayari..

Ang galing ko nga naman talaga..

Haaaay.. Pakshet..

Well, it was my fault naman talaga eh..

The usual insensitive and self-centered me..

Haay.. Grrrrr…

I want to cry.. Well, I cried already..

And now, tears are starting to form behind my eyes again..

Pero, no I won’t..

It would be useless..

Well, I just wanted to write something here eh..

I have no plan of getting out of this mess

Coz I CAN’T!

Even if I want to, I just can’t...

Wala ng lusot to eh..

The more I argue, the messier it gets..

The more I think about it, the worse it gets..

The more I try to get out, the more I sink in..

It’s a dead end..

I’m dead..

Again.. As usual..

Well yeah, I was wrong..

I’m sorry.. Yeah I know the damage has been done..

But all I could do talaga is say “IM SORRY”..

I’m not really sure how it’s going to end

Or if it will end at all..

I hope it will.. I know it will..

We’ve been through a lot diba?!..

We can do this.. C’mon let’s do this!

Thank you for being honest..

At least I know how you feel.. or felt.. (sana felt na lang.. hehe..)

Again, I’m really really really sorry..

“Why do we never know what we’ve got til it’s gone?”

STUPIDITY killed the cat too

I don’t know what’s in you..

I don’t know what’s in me..

I’m not sure about your intentions..

I don’t care at all..

I’m not sure about my emotions..

I don’t want to think about it..

You are a guy.. A typical boy-next-door..

I am a girl.. Juvenile and stupid..

I never minded calling you a child..
Well I guess that's how you acted all the while..

You are charming.. No questions asked..

You painted me a picture and showed me how to see..

In my eyes, you do no wrong
And I believe in you

I’ve been blinded.. But my mind can see..

I don’t know what to do.. Do you?

I’m starting to doubt and question you as well as myself..

In this world, there’s real and make-believe..

This seems real to me..

I am afraid to know the truth..

And I don’t know why..

I’m contented with a five-minute emotional high..

And it’s exactly what you give me..

Without me, your world will go on turning..

A world that's full of happiness that I have never known..

Yeah, I’m contented with that..

Stupid me..

And you know what scares me, I’m getting used to it..

But then again, I am happy..

Stupid stupid stupid me!

Do you know what kills me?

The feeling that I just couldn’t hate you..

I would love to hate you..

But I hate myself more for not being able to..

And after all is said and done
You're still you

Thank you for a myriad of unknown reasons..

And now I curse you for being so sweet and so kind

And I can’t get you out of my dreams

Now I know that you’re a dangerous kind

And your smile is tattooed on my mind

I’d be a fool if I couldn’t see

How things have changed between you and me

Maybe we tried just a little too hard

And now we are strangers again

And now, what happens next?

Coz I am hanging on every word you say

Coz I want nothing more than sit outside heaven’s door

And listen to you breathing.. That’s where I wanna be..

_________________

I’m sorry I had to write this..

I just needed to let it out..

Yeah, I’m so pathetic..

I know you’ll know it’s you I’m talking about..

And yes, it’s you..

Shame on me.. Stupid me..

What is wrong with thee?

let me count the ways..

1. you just can't stop thinking. (sometimes it helps a lot when u do not think at all)

2. you are in denial. (of which i do not know)

3. you want to know everything. (which is really impossible)

4. you think you know everything. (think again)

5. you say you are the victim. (you victimized yourself)

6. you said it's over. (what happens next?)

7. you go on with your life as if nothing happened. (then again, not so)

8. you just can't keep a secret. (shame on you [and on me too])

9. you end up in this situation. (who do you blame?)

10. you are so good. (bravo!)

I love him but everyday I'm learning

ever heard of the song ON MY OWN?

yeah it's that song by lea salonga..

if i'm not mistaken, it goes way back way when i was in high school pa..

and i was so stupid to not realize the true meaning of this song..

gosh, i accidentally heard the song from my friends pc, and damn, i loved it..

it's rhythm, the lyrics, everything about it!

i guess, nakaka-relate ako sa lyrics, haha..

ang sad pala ng song.. so sad..

loving someone on your own is such a sad sad situation..

pero i understand, sometimes kasi, you just love the person so much that it's ok if he doesn't love you back.. coz in love, you should not ask for something in return.. you just do..

hehe.. yikes.. corny..

basta, i love this song..

here goes my favorite part..

i love him but everyday i'm learning

all my life i've only been pretending

without me, his world will go on turning

a world that's full of happiness that i have never known